So, yesterday I got to thinking.  Lately I have been getting really annoyed with people who just want to argue about why what they choose is better than what you choose.  And yes, I know sometimes I can be bad about this too, but honestly... I try to just leave things alone.  I most definitely don't understand why a lot of people make the decisions they do, and I definitely don't really feel like I can relate to a lot of people around me lately.  But I'm tired of having my choices challenged.  I might think your choices are preposterous, and I might try to talk about why I make different choices, and why I make mine, but after a bit, if you still choose what you choose, that's fine.  I'm not going to argue with you about it.  But then I seem to still run into people that like to continuously and consistently attack my choices.  It's really getting old, honestly.

Here's one example.  Apple.  I've talked about many times on my blog and other social media sites about how I'm a fan of Apple and why.  And yeah, you may not agree and you may have your reasons.  But so do I, and those are valid reasons to me.  So leave me alone about it and stop trying to get me to admit that something else is better.  Because I like Apple and their products, and I may never agree with you that something else is better.  I have my reasons and I'm happy with my choices.  I allow you your choices, now just allow me mine and leave me alone about it.

Here are a few other examples of things I'm happy with in my life, that I really don't need your self-righteous opinion about, so you're probably better off keeping it to yourself: my phone carrier, my boyfriend, my choice not to have kids, how I spend my money, or how I choose to try to lose weight or get in shape.  These are just a few examples of things I'm fine with and really don't wish to be challenged on at the moment.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not pointing fingers at anyone, and I may very well at some point ask for advice or solicit opinions, even on the aforementioned topics.  And I'm ok with opinions in general.  Everyone has them.  But sometimes, you just need to realize that that opinion really only belongs to you.

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Ok, so I know I majorly failed on NaBloPoMo. We just aren't going to talk about that.  Instead... let's talk about Christmas!  I'm very excited for it this year.  I am even sending out Christmas cards soon.  So, to kick things off, how about some holiday tunes.  I'm working on a holiday playlist on Spotify - let me know what you think:

Christmas is coming...

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There's not really one specific thing on my mind, honestly, but there are a couple of things I struggle with a lot. See, it's really difficult for me to not sell myself short a lot of the time. I am constantly judging myself, and it's not really something I know how to control. I think I am not a good enough friend, girlfriend, student, employee, co-worker. I look all the time for reassurance (which I really probably shouldn't need) and I don't really get too much of it. So I just constantly wonder if I am even any good at any of them.

The second thing is friendships. Since my dad died, I don't really feel like I know how to "do" friendship anymore. I seem to alienate people at times, and no one really wants to stick that out to be my friend and hang out there with me very often. I know I can be selfish, but I really don't want to be the one constantly keeping the friendship going. I want people to want to be my friend, and right now it doesn't feel like there are too many of those people. So it feels like I don't really "do" friendship all that well, I guess.

I don't know. Like I said, I don't really know what to post, so here is just what I am thinking at times. Take it or leave it.

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Yes, I know. I'm cheating. But I missed yesterday, so both of these posts are getting posted today to catch me up. And after I posted those three photos for the last post, I got to playing with them and ended up with some cool variations of them. At least I think they're cool. So for today's post, I thought I would share these as well. Enjoy!

See the full gallery on Posterous

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So remember my photography post yesterday?  Well, today I just thought I would post some of the pictures from my "advanced" photography class and our photo shoot downtown on Tuesday night.  We had some fun with slow shutter speeds and "light writing" but none of those turned out super great, so I just thought I'd post the best ones. ;) Enjoy!

See the full gallery on Posterous

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I bought a DSLR (Digital Single Lens Reflex) camera this summer, and I have been having a lot of fun with it. It's a Nikon D3100, and I've already spent too much money buying more things for it. I now have three lenses, three different camera bags, and a tripod, among other accessories. Photography is expensive. But I think it will be a fun hobby to have when I finish my MBA.

If you're interested, go check out some of my photography class photos on Facebook. I'm sure there will be many more to come!

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I have been called a lush before.  I'm really not, but... I do like to drink, I admit.  One of my favorite things to do is relax at home or go out to a bar and have a good beer.  And honestly, I used to hate beer.  I couldn't really stand it.  I used to drink Smirnoff Ice and drinks like that.  I think the first beer I could tolerate was probably Killians, which I don't even drink anymore.  I started drinking it a few years ago when I was in Austin, TX with some people I worked with that drank it.  And then I kind of got into Blue Moon or Guiness, mostly because other people drank them.  I didn't really start seriously liking beer until Ricky and I started dating.  He loves it, and has tried a lot of different beers, so I kind of got sucked in.

I admit, it is definitely an acquired taste.  And most of the beers that people tend to buy as everyday beers, at least around here, I can't stand.  Coors Light, Miller Light, Budweiser... yeah, not my style.  I prefer craft beers or microbrews.  I like trying new ones.  And I have learned that my favorites tend to be stouts and porters, but I'm also picky about the ones of those I think are good or not.  It's quite a change for me, since I used to hate beer.  

I discovered my absolute favorite beer when we were in Hawaii last year.  Maybe there's just something about a beer that you can't get every day, I don't know.  But this beer I can only get in Hawaii or on the West Coast.  It's made by Maui Brewing Co - the Coconut Porter.  It is awesome, truly a 5-star beer.  Speaking of which, Ricky and I have actually even started our own beer review blog, something I never expected to do, but really enjoy.  I'm not too knowledge about beer specifics, but I do know what I like.

I'm glad I discovered beer, actually.  It's become a new thing to enjoy, and even a new way to connect with people.  I feel like it's something I could continue for a while and discover new beers, so in that sense it's become a good hobby, one I hope to enjoy for a long time.  Bottoms up!

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So this weekend I had the opportunity to earn 1.5 credits for school by facilitating for an MBA class that is required during your first semester in the Kelley School of Business evening MBA program.  I took it my first semester and really enjoyed it and got a lot out of it, so I figured that taking a class over the course of a weekend in order to get 1.5 credits and getting to help out some first-year MBA students might be worth it.  So I signed up for it.  And it was fun, as expected.

The class reminds me of the Beyond Your Best workshops I used to take.  Basically, you get immersed into an activity that mimics the activities in your life.  For BYB, it was personal situations.  For the weekend class, it was business situations.  It's an interesting concept, because it ends up being an intense situation, and you will behave how you behave.  But how you react to what happens in the situations is usually how you react to situations in your own life.  So this weekend, as a facilitator, I got to observe how these students reacted and give them feedback about it.  It was fun, and helped me remember some things about myself as well.  Good stuff.

Some days I miss BYB.  It was a good opportunity for me, and I learned a ton about myself while I was involved with it.  I've grown and changed since then, but I often find myself thinking about things I learned there and knowing I need to revisit them.  It was very eye-opening, but you tend to forget things if they are not ingrained in your mind day after day.  But I'm grateful I got the chance to do it, because I can honestly say it was a very important experience in my life.  It helped me realize who I am and what I want out of life.  What do you want?

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Well, crap.  I basically dropped the ball on day 5 here.  But I'm not going to worry too much about it.  I have had a super crazy weekend.  I'm facilitating for a weekend class, plus I had homework for other classes I had to do tonight.  I got up at 6:15 this morning, and that was my alarm not going off on time - I was supposed to be up at 5:30!  Yeah, crazy.

So what should I blog about today?  You know, I'm not going to spend too much time on it.  I know this isn't going to be quality blogging tonight, and honestly, my mind is so pre-occupied with other things, that I probably wouldn't have much to add to the rest of the world right now anyway.  Suffice it to say - my world is good.  School is good (almost done, as mentioned), work is good, and my personal life is good, now that a certain boy will be home tomorrow (hey, I've missed him!).  I'm pretty happy right now, even if I struggle sometimes.  I honestly can't complain.  I'm busy, but content, and that's more than a lot of people can say.

Until tomorrow, guys!

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I blogged a few times about it, I think, not long after he died, but I don't think I've said much about him for a while.  Losing a parent is really a learning experience.  It's something that you can't possibly have any idea what is like until it happens to you.  I know I didn't have a clue.  I mean, I've had pretty close relatives die before, of course, and close friends of my family.  But a parent is just... different.

I remember the night that he died.  It's funny, you don't plan to embed every detail of what happened on your brain, but somehow it's just never something you can forget.  I was volunteering at Outreach and had talked to my mom on the phone on my way in.  My dad had been in the hospital and was now home and seemed to be... well, stable.  I can't say he was doing much better than that.  My aunt and cousin had been in town that week because he didn't seem to be doing well.  While I was at Outreach, my cousin texted me to ask if I'd talked to my mom, and said that she'd called her mom (my aunt) in a panic and saying he was having trouble breathing.  So I went upstairs at Outreach and called my mom.  I asked if her if everything was ok, and she said no... he had passed away.  I remember literally sinking to the floor and sitting down with my back against the wall.  I made some calls to see if someone could come get me and take me to Lebanon to be with my mom and brother.  Gregor ended up being available and offered to take me.  That was a long car ride.  My mom called me on the way to say that the funeral home people were waiting to take my dad away, and did I want them to wait until I got there?  I thought about it, and said yes, I wanted them to wait.  When we got there, I walked in and saw a bunch of people standing in the dining room.  I saw my mom first, and reached out to hug her.  Then I pulled back and saw my dad there, in the room lying on a stretcher.  I immediately burst into tears.  It's weird, how I can remember that exact moment in pretty vivid detail.  I'm pretty sure I'll never forget it.

I've learned that for a while after someone dies, at least a parent or someone that close, it's hard to focus on what you remember from their life because their death hurts so badly.  But it's starting to be different.  The biggest way I can think to describe losing a parent is that you think you will somehow "get over" it, not that you will forget, but that it will heal.  But here's the truth the best way I can describe it - you never get over it, it never heals. It will always make you sad and hurt just as much as it did the day you found out they died.  But what changes is that you get used to it.  There is still a hole there because someone is missing, but you just get used to having that hole.  You learn to live with it being there.  And that's ok.

I don't mean to depress anyone.  I know that today is my dad's birthday, a day to celebrate him being born and living, not to talk about him dying.  But I'm still unable to forget it.  It still makes me sad.  It still hurts to remember him because I know he's gone.  But I'm starting to remember and think more about his life, too.  It comes in bits and pieces.  It's like I will be doing something, or hear something, and it will remind me of something about him, usually something I haven't thought about in a while.  But I really think the best way that I have of remembering him is to look at myself.  I see ways about myself that are like him.  I see things about me that I know he was like too.  It's a good thing.  I know I'm not perfect, and I struggle a lot with feeling like I'm just not as good as I should be, but then I remember him and see our similarities and think maybe I'm just not so bad after all.

"If you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time.  A song for a heart so big, God wouldn't let it live."   -Jimmy Eat World, Hear You Me

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I was going to write about my job today, since it's my 3-year anniversary there today. Don't worry, nothing to get me fired. Hey, if I've been there 3 years, it can't be too bad, right? Actually, today my HR director asked me about where would be a good place to do a donation drive for for Christmas this year. Of course that was an easy question, since I'm kind of biased when it comes to non-profits to support. So she got to hear an earful about how great Outreach is, and now it looks like we will be helping them out over the holidays, which I love. How does everything keep coming back to my work lately? Even one of the assignments I have due is about my company.

Well, I'm afraid that's about it for today, since I need to hit the sack and rest up for my big weekend ahead. I'll try to be thinking of better topics for the days ahead. Sleep tight!

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Today I registered for classes. For the last time. Well, unless I decide to go back to school for something besides a masters, which I'm working towards now. But I can't really imagine that will happen, although anything is possible, right? So today I probably registered for classes for the last time.

I got my undergrad degree almost 6 years ago, in December of 2005. It's hard to believe it's been that long. But, then I think about the fact that I almost have a masters degree now as well, and it seems a little easier to believe. I remember saying not long after I graduated with my undergrad, that I would probably go back for my masters within 5 years. Guess I called that one. Oddly enough, I also said that I would end up moving out of Indiana. We won't talk about that one right now...

I actually made the decision to get an MBA a few years back. I started studying for the GMAT once while I was working at Sallie Mae, in 2007, I think. But then some stuff happened and I got distracted and decided not to do it then. Then in 2009 I ran into several people at my job at pan that were getting their MBA and talked to them about it and caught the bug again and decided to go back.

I initially wasn't going to be able to start the MBA program at IUPUI until January of 2010, but the deadline was extended so I decided to start in August 2009 instead. Which meant I had about a month to study for and take the GMAT. And then... my dad died. Kind of threw a wrench in things, but I pushed through and still started on time. And I can't deny it's been a bumpy road at times. The MBA program at IUPUI, the second semester seems to almost be a sort of "weeding out" semester. Even the program chair claims it's probably the hardest one. It consists of a finance class, career seminars, and macro and microeconomics. Yikes. But with some encouragement, I finished it and things got better. And now, I'm almost done.

I have thoughts and potential plans once I graduate. Those seemed far off, but I know they will be here before I even know it. I've made many friends and learned a lot along the way. I've even made friends halfway across the world. (Hi Maria!) But I'm glad it's coming to a close in a few months. Bachelors degree, masters degree... under my belt now (well, almost). Time for the next adventure!

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So, last year I attempted to participate in something called NaNoWriMo and failed pretty miserably. The idea of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, during the month of November (it happens in November every year). I didn’t make it very far at all. Honestly, I just don’t know if I’m really much of a fiction writer. I love to write, but fiction just isn’t my thing. I do, however, love to blog, even though I haven’t been doing it very often lately, mostly due to having enough to get done between school and other activities. So… I’ve decided to give NaBloPoMo a try this November instead. NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) is the blogger’s equivalent to NaNoWriMo. I think I might find it a bit more manageable. And, I should probably blog more again anyway, right? So here we go. First day of November, first daily blog post. Let’s see if I can keep up, shall we? Enjoy the ride!

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I hear people time and time again that are not fans of Apple products.  I also hear people that most definitely are.  And generally, the people that are not make the claim that those that are are fanboys or hipsters, that they have just drank the Apple Kool-aid and would buy an Apple product even if it 

was just a dump that Steve Jobs took into a box and slapped an Apple logo on the side of it.  While I'm sure those people do exist, I also think that Apple is a very innovative company, and that there are people that like for and choose their products for good, informed, intelligent reasons.  I am one of those people.

Let me start by saying that I am not your typical everyday "user".  I have always been fascinated with computers and gadgets since I was a little kid, and have now grown up to be pretty much a complete and total computer geek.  I'm not hardcore into theory or hardware or networking or really even software (at least not as much as others I know), but I am a Windows web application developer, and have known my way around a Windows PC pretty well for quite a while now.  I also pride myself on being up on what is the latest in the tech world, at least from a general user's experience.  So I usually hear about the latest gadget about as soon as it comes out.

My first Apple product was an iPod Mini several years ago.  MP3 players were just starting to become popular, and Apple's was the most well-known on the market.  So I purchased one.  It worked well and served me for several years before I ended up giving it to a friend, still in great shape and working just fine.  I can't remember if I had any problems with it, as any iPod issues I've had over the years all kind of run together, and I've always done the same thing with issues that I can't fix - I took it to the Genius Bar at the local Apple Store.  And they always did either one of two things, regardless of warranty or what product it was: 1) fix it or 2) replace it.  Apple iPods, over the years, really became kind of the defactor standard of what people looked for in an MP3 player, as well as by far the most well-marketed.

Given my good experience with my iPod Mini, I went on to later purchase another iPod, one that also served me well for several years.  I still have it, and again, it still works pretty well, although I rarely use it anymore.  And I know it hasn't been replaced, because I had it engraved when I bought it and it still has that same engraving on the back.  So given my good experiences with Apple iPods, once the second generation iPhone came out and went down a bit in price, I bit the bullet.  I had a Windows smartphone before that, and I just new an iPhone had to have a better user experience.  I was right.  I was blown away by how things just worked on the iPhone.  How it was so much more intuitive, so much easier to use.  How what had taken me seven steps on my previous smartphone took me one step on the iPhone.  Once again, I had a good experience with Apple.

So cut to a few years later.  I'm still a Windows developer, always using a Windows PC.  And there are definitely complaints I have about Windows PCs and Windows software.  I was having to upgrade every few years.  It was always a different brand of PC, the brand really didn't seem to matter much.  And I would always have some kind of problems with them.  Once I had to call Dell to have a Dell technician come to my house to fix my laptop.  Once I had to send one in and wait for it to come back.  I'm not saying Windows PCs are bad, not by any means.  But Ricky (my boyfriend) had started using a Mac for his job and decided to order one of his own.  Something about it appealed to me, and I decided to try out the world of Mac computers for myself.  So I ordered one.  It came in a nice pretty box, easy to set up, and fun to use.  Here's the thing... no one can say that Apple doesn't do a killer job with marketing.  The aesthetics of their products are just not comparable to any other company on the market.  So they're pretty... that's not the only reason to buy or use a product, obviously.  So what was my experience with this new Mac that made me really like Apple?

I've had my MacBook Pro for about a year now.  And here's my impression of it... I LOVE using it.  More so than I have ever liked using a PC (and I'm a programmer, so you know they must have some appeal to me).  It is simply put, fun to use.  And yes, I have bought more Apple products since then - an iPad and an Apple TV.  And when the iPad first came out, I thought it was ridiculous.  It seemed to be missing so many components that my netbook had that I didn't see how it could be at all useful.  But after getting a Mac, I get it.  The iPad is the bridge between your computer and your phone if you are an Apple user.  It's your go-everywhere computer.  I've always liked the idea of a go-everywhere computer, that's why I bought my netbook.  But after having a MacBook and seeing how the iPad was that bridge between that and my iPhone, I thought I might give it a shot.  And now I see how it's better than a netbook.  Does it do everything a netbook can do?  No, not really.  But it's what I need when I want something portable I can take anywhere.  It does the things I need to do, and it does them way easier than a netbook.  I've already blogged about the iPad, so I won't go into detail about that too much - just see my previous post if you want to know more.

Apple really is great at marketing.  I mean, not just aesthetics and how pretty their boxes are.  They know how to integrate their products so seamlessly that you want to go out and buy different products from them because you can see how well they fit into the Apple products you already own.  If you really look at Apple and their plan for the future, you can see that they don't want to just sell phones or laptops or MP3 players.  They want to sell consumer technology solutions.  A company that tries to sell more of their products instead of just one, and does it effectively?  Seems like a pretty successful company if they do it right.  I mean, look at Apple.  Do they look like they're doing it right?  I think so, speaking from a marketing major's standpoint.

I know that Apple is far from the only solution out there, whether it is about what phone to buy, what computer to buy, or whether to even have a tablet or netbook.  But their solutions work, and they work well.  There are even phones and other products out there that do more than Apple's do.  But for me, all my Apple products do what I need them to do, and they do it well, and their customer service and support works well for me.  And it always has.  So I don't really need to check out an Android phone.  My iPhone does exactly what I need, and I know the next one will do even more.

Are there better products out there than Apple products?  Well, like I said, I know there are products that "do" more, I'm sure.  But for me, Apple works and works well.  Their solutions do what I need them to do, and after years of using their products... I find less problems and more reasons to utilize them more.  The company has served my technology needs for several years now, and only continues to introduce even better products.  What reason would I have to switch?

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