I have recently discovered that I pretty much hate the word "busy".  And it's not just the word.  It's the connotations that go along with it.  I really hate when you're talking to someone and you ask how they are and they answer "busy" and then proceed to tell you all the stuff they have going on.  Great, you're busy and have things you're involved in.  Yeah, me too.  In fact, doesn't everyone?  I'm not sure why you feel the need to clarify that YOU are so busy. If I wanted to, I could say that too.  Sure, I'm busy.  I work full-time, and I'm a part-time MBA student.  On top of that, I run two blogs, additionally write for two more, and help with another one that I'm an editor for.  On top of that, I'm also taking two other classes this summer in addition to my MBA classes.  In addition to that, I still try to find time for homework, socializing, and spending time with my family.  So yeah, you could say I'm busy too.  But I guess I just don't really think about it.  Everything that I'm doing or involved with, I chose and for the most part, enjoy.  So saying I'm busy, to me, amounts to one of two things (or possibly both).  Number one, I see the things I'm involved with as a task list - a list of things I need to get done.  Which, well, really isn't true.  Sure, there are things I need to get done, but for me it's not about a task list.  These are just the things I'm doing because I enjoy them.  I mean, I guess it could be considered a task list that I enjoy... but I don't see it that way.  I just see it as life, and the things that I'm interested in that are a part of my life.  And honestly, if I'm friends with you... I'm not really all that interested in you rattling off your task list to show me how busy you are.  Because that brings me to the second thing.  Number two - "busy" in our society has now come to be an indication of how important a person is.  I feel this a lot.  I don't really go on much about how busy I am.  But I sure do it hear it from others.  And that's usually (not always, but usually) how it comes across to me.  If you go on to me about how busy you are, it really just seems like you are trying to prove to me how important you are by how important all the things you are involved with are.  Either that, or you're trying to justify why you "don't have time" for other things, or people. I've also come to the conclusion that I think a lot of people pack their schedules so tightly full in an effort of avoidance.  If they are always busy with something, they don't have much time to themselves.  They don't have to spend much time thinking... just thinking.  Their focus is always on what's going on, what they are doing, and what is the next thing in their busy schedule.  It seems like these people are practically afraid of themselves, or afraid of being alone.  Which is kind of sad, because if you can't be with yourself, are you really being the best you with other people? Here's the thing.  You're only as busy as you feel and as busy as you make yourself.  As many of the things I listed above that I do, I still don't really feel "busy".  Sure, I'm involved with a lot of things.  Mostly things I love.  I write a travel blog because I love to travel and I love to talk about traveling.  I write for a blog about beer because I like beer.  I'm an MBA student because I enjoy it and it is helping me to grow and to learn more about both myself and things in the world of business.  That's not me being busy.  It's just the interests in my life coming through.  And, I still find time to spend time with people and time to relax and time to go see movies and time to read.  I don't feel "busy".  And I don't answer that way when someone asks me how I am.  Instead, I tell them I'm doing good and if they want to know more about what's going on with me, I tell them what they want to know. Sorry, but if you tell me you're "busy"... that just makes me feel like you think (and want me to know) all those things in your so-called packed schedule are just of more importance than me.  After all, they're all pretty important things you have to get done... right?

I originally posted this blog on my Kelley blog, but I thought it was worth sharing here as well. Enjoy! I could use this blog entry to write about all of the sights we saw in Russia, or about the business meetings that we attended, and I might do that soon too. But honestly, the entire experience of the trip had such an impact on me as a person that I'd like to talk about that first. It had an effect on me emotionally, personally, and professionally, and there are quite a few thoughts swirling around in my head about that now upon returning. One big reason I took the Emerging Economies: Russia class is because I love traveling and learning about and experiencing other cultures, and I saw this as one of the few opportunities I might have to learn about and visit Russia in this capacity. And now, especially after taking the trip and having that experience, I find it disappointing that more MBA students in our program weren't willing to do the same. Yes, it's a lot of money. But the trip and class as a whole really costs no more than a normal part-time MBA semester of credit hours here at Kelley. So, even if you have to take only this class one semester in order to pay for it, do it! It is well worth the expense many times over. And plus, there are also other ways to pay for it. Kelley offered a partial scholarship for it. I know that one of the other students that went used his work bonus to help pay for it, and I did that as well. But even if you think it's not affordable, there is always a way and I guarantee that if you make the effort to find it, it will be worth it in the end. The eight weeks in this class leading up to the trip were quite valuable. I really enjoyed taking the time to learn all about Russia - its culture, politics, food, history, etc - before visiting there. It made the actual trip and being there so much more valuable and meaningful. When we were ready to leave, we already had an idea of what Russia was like in our heads - now it was just time to experience it for ourselves. What I got out of the trip exceeded my highest expectations. I didn't really have too many expectations going in, honestly - I just tried to be open and take in whatever happened, which I think is the best way to go about it. Maybe it was just that attitude that caused me to feel differently than I might have thought that I would. One of the first things I felt the first few days of the trip was a sense of awe. I never traveled very much or very far in my childhood and even though I have been to a few different countries now as an adult, it was still kind of huge to me that I was in Russia. And on top of that, I was traveling with a group of successful adults and meeting with executives at huge multinational companies. It made my head spin just a bit. Once I adjusted to that feeling and accepted that yes, I was really there, I got quite a bit out of both the business meetings as well as the time spent out with people, both my fellow travelers as well as people we were meeting in Russia. The business meetings were very valuable and rewarding because we were getting to see the reality of doing business in Russia, what we had been researching for weeks. We saw both the perspectives of U.S. firms, some of which had been in Russia for quite a long time, as well as from Russian companies, both large ones and start-ups. It gave us a much more real sense of how things are accomplished there. It was also a really nice experience to meet the people that we had put ourselves in touch with in order to set up our meetings. That had been part of our challenges and preparation in the class leading up to the trip, to set up business meetings on our own in Russia to get information for our team projects. Spending time with those in our group and meeting new people in Russia was every bit as rewarding as well. Because the MBA program is part-time and most of the students either work full-time already or are full-time students in another program along with the MBA (we had both an MD/MBA and a JD/MBA along with us), sometimes that can make it hard to really spend time connecting with your fellow students. But there is no better way to connect than to go off to a foreign country with some of them for a few days! We all truly got to know each other very well and honestly, we really got along famously. I hope to continue to stay in touch with each and every one of the people on this trip and count them as friends for a very long time. I think that all of my fellow students that went on this trip would agree that we owe a huge debt of gratitude to both our professor, Marjorie Lyles, as well as our executive-in-residence for the class, Nate Feltman. You can tell that Prof. Lyles loves both doing work internationally as well as sharing her love of that with students. She truly has a passion for that which becomes very clear when you are on the trip experiencing it with her. Her fondness for her students and her pride in their dedication to the class becomes very evident and was a huge encouragement and support to us. And Nate brought exactly what we needed to our time in Russia. He has spent a few years over there as legal counsel and was just the link we needed to Russia. His love for the country is very evident as well and added so much to our trip. He was our translator and guide at times as well as friend. You tend to have professors and executives or professionals that are involved throughout every step of earning an MBA, but there are only usually a select few that end up being sought out as true mentors. I think Prof. Lyles and Nate should be warned that they have the potential to become that for any one of the eight of us students that visited Russia with them. I think that I could potentially say that all of us fell in love with Russia on this trip. The sights, meetings, people, experiences... all of it was enough to make all of us want to return at some point. A phrase that one of the executives in one of our meetings used that keeps coming back to me is "international American". I believe that is what is true about each of us on the trip that sparked us to go - a passion for learning more about other cultures and nations and wanting to make the world seem a bit smaller. I really hope that in our experience and in our sharing of it with others that we can prompt them to do the same and be international Americans as well.

The inevitable next post, right? I said goodbye to 2010, what else is next? Well, here are my thoughts on 2011... I've seen a lot of people say that they had a rough year in 2010 and are glad to see it go. Well, honestly, for me it wasn't too bad of a year. But either way, it's now a thing of the past. 2011 is a fresh start, for everyone. It can be whatever you want it to be. And I, for one, am looking forward to it. 2011 for me means the continuation of getting my MBA. I am halfway through the program and mostly done with my core classes. Now I will be taking more marketing and elective classes. I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out what to take, though, especially this summer since they don't seem to offer any marketing classes in the summer. Oh well... I'll figure it out! Anyone know of a company needing a project done in marketing that I might be able to do as an independent study? As I mentioned before, I will also be traveling more in 2011. I'm taking a day trip by myself to Chicago on MLK Jr day in a couple weeks, spending the weekend in Pensacola, FL in February, Russia over spring break in March, and then Ricky and I are planning to visit Italy this summer. We haven't booked that yet, so if you know of a good travel agent, let me know! There are a couple of goals I have in mind for 2011 as well. I've been reading a lot more lately, and I'd like to continue that trend. Since getting a Kindle around the middle of last year, I've read all of the Millennium Trilogy (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series), all of the Harry Potter books, and am finishing up the last of the Hunger Games trilogy. The Harry Potter books aren't available on the Kindle, but I bought the whole series in paperback and basically devoured them. I read all of them between when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out in November to just after Christmas. All while still working full-time (although a week of that was a vacation, when I read book 5) and taking finals! If you've seen the size of some of the books, you know this is no small feat. They were hard to put down, as is the Hunger Games trilogy. I read book 2 in less than 2 days. But I'm definitely enjoying reading more, the way I used to when I was a kid. I'd like that to continue. As a lot of people do, I know... I'd like to lose some weight too. I really put on some pounds last year, and I hate how my clothes fit and seeing the number on the scale. I suck at dieting, I like food too much. So this is really going to take a huge effort for me, but I hope to be successful at it. I know how to lose weight, I've done it before. But I'm not a big fan of exercise, and some foods are just hard to pass up. But I'm sure going to try. I'd like to work on my relationships with people, too. I suppose that is an ongoing process. Last year was kind of eye-opening for me... well, the last couple of years, really. 2009 held some changes for me, and I am honestly still really working through a few of them. My dad will never be back, and I think some people just don't realize what it's like to walk with someone through that. And of course, everyone handles the death of a parent or close family member differently. I'd say the biggest piece of advice I can give to anyone having to walk with someone and try to be their friend (or maintain a relationship with them) through that, is to not give up on them. I have said and done some things that I probably shouldn't have said or done. But according to who? Yes, people dealing with death are an energy suck. They take some maintenance. And some people just don't know how or aren't willing to deal that maintenance. And I haven't been worth it to some people. That's disappointing to me, but it's just how life is. I need to learn how to not take it personally, but I struggle with that. And I'd like to get better at it. I know I'm of value to people and I need to just accept that, be who I am, and get over the rest and focus on the value I bring and just BE THAT. Easier said than done, but I'm trying. I think that's about it at this point. Oh yeah, one more thing... I plan on blogging more! I'm excited to see what 2011 will hold. I hope you are too!

Well, I was planning on updating my blog design, and I started working on it and decided that 1) I actually kind of like this design and really didn't find one I like much better at the moment and 2) I don't really have time to work on a new design for it anyway, at least not the time I'd like to put into it. The holidays continue to be relatively busy, and school will be starting up again in a little over a week. Oh, and just in case you missed it and were wondering (I'm sure you were), I got an A- in Marketing and a B in Operations Management, my two classes last semester. Next semester I am taking three classes: Leadership & Ethics in the Business Environment, Applied Marketing Research, and Emerging Economies. The Leadership class is my last core class, I believe. There was another one, an international studies one, but I believe since I am taking the Emerging Economies course and it includes international studies, that I don't have to take that one. The Applied Marketing Research class is online, one reason I picked it up since I already am taking two other classes and this one brings me up to 9 credit hours for the semester - yikes! And then, the Emerging Economies class, of course, as I have already talked about on Twitter and Facebook, will take me to... Russia! It is basically a study of the Russian economy and includes a trip to St. Petersburg and Moscow over spring break. So I get to visit this beautiful place, among others: I'm VERY excited, as this will be my first trip overseas. Considering how little travel I really did growing up, I found it funny that when my professor was asking us if we would need our passports any time in the next few months (she was going to collect them to send to an agency to submit to get our visas), I actually had to say YES, I would need it - for the trip to Aruba I took earlier this month. It seems to becoming obvious to myself as well as everyone that I LOVE to travel as often as possible. I'm starting to get teased about how often I do, actually, by jealou--I mean, by friends and co-workers. ;) Ricky and I are constantly looking for an opportunity to get out of town. I already have three sets of airline tickets purchased for trips in 2011! On that note, I'd like to make my readers aware of a couple of things. Number one, I think I'm going to ditch the "travelatte" blog. It's just not really getting a following, and as this blog (my normal one) already HAS a following, I'm just going to post any travel stuff on here since I don't really have the time to keep up with two anyway. So if you get tired of it, well too bad, I guess. You'll know where I'm going whether you like it or not. :) Also, I'm taking down the Photos page, which most of you probably didn't even realize existed. All it really is is a feed of my Picasa photos, and I don't use Picasa anymore, so it wouldn't be getting updated anyway. But I'll probably incorporate a link to my Flickr page in here somewhere soon. And one more thing - I'm closing my public Twitter account. I don't want/need two accounts, and as I rarely use the @sherylh96 one, I'm just going to "shut it down". I may keep the account technically there as I've used that username for so long, I'd like to make sure it's mine on Twitter, but I will not likely be using it anymore. I will, however, continue to use my private Twitter account, @sherylhugill. And I will accept your follow request... if I like you. So that's that. Now, here is the latest scoop. My update, year in review, year-end blog post, whatever you would like to call it. I'm not really one to sit looking back too much, so I'm not sure how much I can reminisce about 2010, really. It had plenty of great travel, not surprisingly, and may possibly be considered my "coming out" as a self-confessed travel geek. I mean, Chicago, San Francisco, and New York in 3 weekends? I also got my tropical islands in, visiting both Hawaii and Aruba this year. I broke my own record for number of times I've flown in a year, topping out at 5, I believe. (Hawaii, San Francisco, New York, Phoenix, and Aruba, in case you were wondering.) Aside from travel, I also completed my first full year in grad school. I am now halfway through my MBA program - scheduled graduation is in May 2012, so I still have some time to go. Ricky and I have no been together for 2 years. Our "anniversary" is pretty easy to remember, as our first date was sometime between Christmas and New Year's 2008 - on the 29th, I believe. Our second date (and first kiss at midnight!) was New Year's Eve, so we tend to celebrate it then. Moving in together has gone relatively well, most of the time. I blame him for my recently developed initiation this year into the cult of Apple. I can claim I had an iPhone before meeting him, but who knew I would also end up using a MacBook Pro, iPad, and Apple TV? Yeah, we are an Apple couple for sure. I'm looking forward to 2011 and seeing what it holds. 2010 has required some adjustments, and some are still being made. But life is good. I hope yours is too. I'm excited for the plans I am already making for 2011, whether it's classes, new opportunities, or travel plans. I'm sure it will be a journey worth taking. Happy New Year as you ring in yours, and may 2011 be your best year yet!

So since seeing that Isha posted an update and list of summer plans, I thought I would do the same. Right now, I am currently smack dab in the middle of finals week of my second semester in the Kelley MBA program. I have heard from a lot of people (the program chair included) that this is quite possibly the hardest semester of the program. I've taken a total of 4 classes, 7.5 credit hours. And keep in mind that 8 credit hours is considered full-time if you're in grad school, so I've basically been working full-time while also going to school almost full-time. This is also one big part of the reason I am not on Twitter or Facebook right now. They both just became a big distraction while trying to make it through these last few weeks. I'll likely be back this weekend, once finals are over. I am SO looking forward to this summer. I made it through my biggest final yesterday (Finance) and am hoping I managed to do better on it than I did on the midterm. I have one more final left to take online tomorrow and then I am home free! ...for a week. Summer classes start next Thursday. However, I'm looking forward to starting fresh and being basically done with finance/accounting/money/math classes. They have been killer, and I even came close to quitting earlier this semester, but I managed to stick it out. My summer classes are Business Law, which meets on Thursdays, and IT for Managers, which is online and only 1.5 credit hours. And I will be done with the IT class on June 23, and then done with the Law class on July 8 - which means over a month of no classes! Definitely excited about that. So - that being said, summer should be pretty good. Here's what I've got going on this summer so far... May 6th - Macroecon final (last one!) 9th - Mother's Day - special lunch with my mom 13th - Summer classes start 14th - Swing dancing double date with Ricky, Ian, and Heather (Ricky's first swing dancing experience!) 15th - Special surprise planned for my sweetie - we get to dress up! 22nd - Nickelback concert at Verizon 23rd - LOST finale party at our new apt June 23rd - End of IT class July 4th - Spending the weekend with Ricky at Forest Dunes 8th - End of Business Law class 19th - Sophie's "birthday" (2nd anniversary of the day I got her) 22nd - Ricky's birthday August 14th - Mom's birthday 24th - Fall classes start - Marketing, Operations Mgmt

So being the time of year it is, I have noticed more and more people posting on Twitter or Facebook or their blogs what they are thankful for. While there are definitely things/people/etc that I am very thankful for, I think I'm also going to use this opportunity to just be totally honest about what things have been like for me lately. I've hinted at it to people, and even expressed it to some, but just for my own form of therapy, I thought I would explain it a bit. Everyone knows that my dad passed away in March of this year, and if you read my blog or keep up with me regularly, you know a lot of the other things that have happened in my life this year. Shortly before my dad passed away, I had decided to go back to grad school at the IU Kelley School of Business to get my MBA. Following that decision came a long process that included studying for the GMAT, getting letters of recommendation, writing an essay, and taking prerequisite classes, among other things. I continued this process after my dad died because, well, it was a decision I made and something that I wanted for myself, so there was really no question about following through with it. So I submitted everything, took the GMAT and got a good score, took my prereq, and got into the program. School started in August, and I have been on the journey since then. It has honestly been an up and down road the last few months. First of all, grad school is hard. Maybe not for everyone, but for me it is pretty hard at times. If the work isn't hard, keeping up with all of the work is. I have struggled at times to easily understand the topics we have studied so far. I have had no real business training other than on the job from being in a professional IT (information technology) environment. Things like accounting (other than the short course I had in high school) and economics (other than what I remember from college stats classes) are pretty foreign to me. And a lot of the time, well, I've felt pretty dumb. And some days, this feeling carries over into work too, when I'm facing some new task that involves code that I'm unfamiliar with or functionality that I don't know how to tackle.  This all leads to a lot of feelings of not being good enough, whether it is with work, school, relationships, or other areas of my life. Now - combine those feelings with the fact that along with the death of my dad and the stress of work and school, I tend to be a stress eater. Sweets are my drug of choice a lot of times when it comes to looking for a pick-me-up. This has led to gaining a few extra pounds that I really don't want. So of course that doesn't help with those self-worth issues any. Only a few close friends really know how much of a struggle this has been for me. And while advice is great, I honestly already know most of the advice. I know my self-worth, I really do. I know that I'm pretty, that I'm smart, that I will get through school and get my MBA, and that I will even lose those pounds if I really want to. But right now - it's very hard to get that from my head to my heart. Struggling to feel something emotionally where you just don't can be a very crippling thing, and a very difficult thing to understand, especially from the viewpoint of those that love and care about the person struggling with this issue. And every little small thing that somehow feeds (or even seems to feed) the lie can feel like a complete emotional attack. So, here's my admission. These self-worth issues combined with grief have made close, trusted friends suggest that seeking counseling might not be a bad idea, so I've decided to check it out via CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) at IUPUI. It's a minimal fee service that IUPUI offers their students. And I have to admit that having someone to talk to about some of these things, a third party, can't hurt. So what does all of this have to do with Thanksgiving and being thankful? Well, as I've basically said many times now, it's been a rough year. I don't like admitting that, and I don't like admitting that I need help. But I'm not sure what my year might have looked like without support from friends, for which I'm so grateful. Thank you, Ricky, gRegor, Seren, and Maurice, for being among the ones who know me best and still love me without fail. And thank you to that special volunteer at Outreach who let me know that I'm not alone, that I'm normal, and that grief can take years to overcome. I'm blessed to have so many great people in my life. I'm also thankful that there have been a lot of wonderful things in my life this year as well. I've been able to achieve some pretty lofty goals and that fact makes me know that I can do anything I set my mind to. In addition to getting into grad school and working towards my MBA, I've also managed to travel a lot this year and visit some new places (including Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, and San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua) as well as getting the next car I wanted, a 2005 Mini Cooper convertible.  Even though sometimes I can't really feel it, I know I have accomplished a lot in the midst of a hard year. I know I'm facing some difficult holidays coming up, but there are things to celebrate this year as well.  And I've realized that it's okay to accept how I feel and to acknowledge that I'm not always capable of living up to expectations, especially my own.  But what I have done and what I am is still perfectly as it should be, even if there's room for improvement (and there always is).  And there will always be those out there to love me and remind me of that, if I choose to let them.

A blog post about blogging.  Novel idea, right?  I've been blogging since - well, according to my Xanga page - October 2001.  Next Tuesday is apparently my 8-year bloggiversary.  Yay me!  So yes, I started blogging on Xanga, and later eventually moved to my own site, which you see before you now.  The look of it has changed some over the years, but I am still here.  Where else would I be?  I'm pretty sure there is no other Sheryl Hugill out there to try to steal this domain name from me... Besides my own personal blog, I have also been a blogger for other websites as well.  In 2006 and 2007, I was a blogger for a local magazine that used to be called INtake Weekly.  INtake has since become Indy.com (sadly leaving behind their Blog Squad), and now is a part of Metromix.  And now, I'm excited to add another entry to my blog portfolio... you're looking at the newest "BizBlogger" for the Kelley School of Business at IUPUI! The Kelley School of Business showcases their newest blog entries on their main page, found at kelley.iupui.edu.  The link to the "BizBlog" itself can be found at bizblog.kelley.iupui.edu or by clicking on "More Entries" from the BizBlog section on the main Kelley page.  Found here are blogs by several different types of people involved with Kelley, including undergraduate students, alumni, advisors, and of course (like me) graduate students.  If you go to the main BizBlog page and click on Graduate Students, you'll see my name listed there on the left.  No posts yet, but I currently have one waiting for moderation. I'm very excited to be blogging for the Kelley School of Business.  I know the MBA program will be a challenge, and I'm looking forward to sharing my experience there.  Interestingly enough, my blog here is what got me the job... someone from Kelley contacted me while I was in the process of preparing for the GMAT and applying to the program, after having seen my post here about that process.  She wanted to talk to me to find out about my experience with the application process, and this later led to my invitation to blog for the school. What a great opportunity, and a great way to celebrate my "bloggiversary"... with a new blogging challenge. UPDATE: My first blog at Kelley has been posted/moderated now.  I think they have changed around the graduate students blogs, as mine is listed right now under "Evening MBA Experience".  Here's a link to my first post.

So today I had a pretty crummy day. It started with a toothache that just got increasingly worse as the day went on. Various things at work got frustrating. And then I found out that I did pretty bad on the quiz that I took in my accounting class last night. The same quiz that I studied for Friday night, most of Sunday afternoon, and late into Sunday night as well. Typical day, in a way, basically the culmination of a lot of feelings I've had lately. See, lately I've been struggling with feeling like kind of a big failure. At work, at school, at home, in relationships, even just as a person. Same old feelings - I'm not smart enough, don't work hard enough, not a good enough friend, even that my apartment isn't as clean or as well-decorated as it should be. It just seems like lately every piece of feedback I get regarding, well, everything, is negative. Or at least it's mostly the negative feedback that I seem to be able to see right now. So as today continued to get progressively worse - these negative things started to affect me less somehow. Maybe it was just because my day was pretty crummy already, but I started to see some of the negative things as just feedback. Learning experiences. And then I started to look at my failures in a different way. Like my accounting quiz - sure, I failed it. But I wouldn't have if I hadn't tried. If I hadn't decided to get my MBA, if I hadn't applied and gotten accepted to the MBA program at IUPUI, I wouldn't have failed this quiz. So instead of being evidence that I was a failure, what it meant was that I hadn't been afraid to fail. If I had stayed in my comfort zone and never gone back to school and instead let fear of failure keep me from it, it would never have happened. That was a really cool thing to me, as I've always been one to not want fear of failure to keep me from living my life and my dreams. I didn't lose anything from it - my quiz grade wasn't bad enough to keep me from passing my class, I can bring my grade up. So all it really was was a bump along the way. And as for my self-confidence and self-worth issues lately... I got to thinking about those and discussing them with a friend today. See, the thing is - I've known deep down from a young age (probably about 4 years old when my parents were already bragging about my reading ability to people) that I'm pretty smart and capable. And I think my self worth issues come more from me holding myself to a really high standard than really thinking that I'm worthless. But here's the thing... I've been used to being able to get through my world and what I do with relative ease. I've never had problems in school or in life, really... I'm smart and capable and I have always taken on things that I can handle. But now, here I am. This year has been full of a lot of changes, a lot of new things. A new job. A new boyfriend. Starting graduate school. And losing my father. And I've come to the conclusion that a part of my struggle with self-confidence and self-worth lately is really just a part of me growing. I'm taking on new things, bigger things, and they're not always as easy as some of the other things have been. Sure, I can handle these new, bigger things too, they're just more outside of my box and I have to learn what it's like to take them on. It's not always easy, and I will likely fail along the way. And yeah, it's definitely enough to shake one's confidence momentarily. But it also helps me grow. I mean... Getting a graduate degree is not as easy as getting an undergrad. And the job I have now is not as easy as the jobs I have had in the past. And living life without a dad is not as easy as living life with one. A phrase that I remember from my days in Beyond Your Best is about being "out on the skinny branches". It basically just means getting outside of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there. Not being afraid to fail. Letting yourself fail in order to grow. Taking on new things that are harder than the things you've done in the past. Not just staying in the same place or in the place that is comfortable. And that's what I want to do - grow. Mentally, emotionally, and as a person. So - be it things that I have chosen to change or things that I have no control over that have yet forced me to grow... here's to failure, as a result of being out on the "skinny branches".

And oddly enough, I'm putting off homework to write this blog post. I figured that I had yet to officially post an update on the status of my application to the MBA program at IUPUI, so while I'm being a blogging fiend I figured I'd do that. So here it is... I got accepted! I took the GMAT and after a few nights of hardcore studying, I ended up with a score of 650, which is pretty decent. It's apparently higher than the average of students entering the evening MBA program at IUPUI, apparently, which their website states is 620. So I was pretty pleased. And *very glad* to be done with the test. And yes, I have been accepted to the evening MBA program at the Kelley School of Business at IUPUI. Yay me! So right now I'm taking a summer accounting class online that is a prerequisite for the MBA program, which starts next month. Classes start August 26, and orientation is August 24 and 25th. I'm really looking forward to starting school again. I like being a student, plus I'm looking forward to meeting new classmates. I will have classes on Monday and Wednesday nights at the Community Life & Learning Center in Carmel. For the next. three. years. What am I getting myself into?? Oh well... So, wish me luck as I embark on the next leg of my academic journey. I look forward to tackling all of the ups and downs that I know it will present.

I bet you were hoping for part 2 of my Memorial Day weekend trip, right? Well, you'll get it - eventually. Just not right now. Patience, my dear readers. This week my mind is elsewhere. I've had a request to talk about my MBA experience. (Hi Tom!) Well, as of yet - it's only a pre-MBA experience. But I can talk about that. If you've been reading my blog long enough, you probably remember a couple of years ago when I said I had decided to go to grad school to get my MBA. Well, a trip to Florida, a short-term romance, and lack of funds kind of deterred all of that for a while. But after some conversations with co-workers and my own decision that I needed more direction and goals in my life, I have decided to pursue this effort once again. To me, the most logical choice for which school to go to to obtain my graduate degree in business administration is IUPUI (Indiana University-Purdue University at Indianapolis, for the uninformed). This is where I got my undergraduate degree. There are a few reasons why I say it is the logical choice for me. One, is just that - it's where I obtained my undergrad. I also worked there, and I am very comfortable and familiar with the school and the way they do things. Two, is that the degree I would end up getting would be from Indiana University. My undergrad is from Purdue. How cool would that be, to have a degree from both schools? Silly reason, maybe. I do have a better one. Obviously, IU is a great school anyway, but then there's the fact that the Kelley School of Business at Indiana University is ranked #22 in the country among business schools for an MBA. Sure, it's not Harvard or Yale or anything, but that's not a bad ranking for a school in Indiana. So that's why I'm trying to get accepted into their evening MBA program. So, there are quite a few things I need to get accepted into this program. One is a good undergrad record and GPA. Check. My undergrad GPA at IUPUI was a 3.8. Not too shabby, huh? Number two is a couple of recommendation letters from people that can vouch for me and why I should be accepted into this program. I've got good friends and business contacts - no problem. I sent in my resume, which shows that I have had a few years of full-time experience in the working world, not only in I.T. after I received my undergrad, but also some years as an administrative assistant and also in the banking industry. I've also submitted an essay about why I want to get into this program, as well as registered for a prerequisite class online this summer. There are actually two prerequisite classes I need - statistics and accounting - but if I can manage to make it into the fall semester, I can bypass the statistics class. I took three statistics classes as part of my undergrad program, and I aced them all. Here's the thing. The usual deadline for having everything in for the fall semester is April 15. Obviously, we are way past that. But they have had low enrollment this year, and have extended the deadline until June 30 or whenever the classes fill up. The evening MBA program has a group that will be meeting in Carmel, which is where I work. This would be much closer than the group that will be meeting downtown. However, the Carmel group only starts up in the fall semester, not spring. So there's that. Also - if I don't make it in for fall - I will have to take the statistics prereq as my undergrad classes will be over 5 years ago and will not qualify. So you can see why it is kind of important for me to get in for the fall. I have been in contact with someone from the admissions office, and she tells me that they do have a few spots left in Carmel for fall, so if I get accepted, I should be fine in getting a spot. What do they still need from me to get accepted? The clincher - the GMAT. The GMAT (or Graduate Management Admissions Test) is a required part of getting into the program as well. I am registered to take it this Saturday, May 30. So - for the rest of this week, studying I will be. I've studied some and gotten decent scores on practice tests, but this test covers math skills that I acquired in high school and early college. Meaning - skills I've pretty much lost since then. And trying to re-learn all of that in a short period of time is not easy. But try I will. So there's where I'm at. The GMAT is this Saturday, and my score on that is probably my biggest determining factor to whether I'm admitted into the program or not. The average for students in this program is 620, and I was able to get a 660 on one of the practice tests I took, so let's hope I get around that on the real test. I'll keep you updated... until then - wish me luck!